Miracles happen in the little things ... how I was able to change my reality with one little realization ... and my third baby got on his way

MY THIRD CHILD SHOWED ME AND REMINDED ME OF SOMETHING THAT I HAD ALREADY FORGOTTEN ABOUT ... THAT WE CREATE MUCH OF OUR REALITY AND THAT WHEN WE'RE READY, THE IMPOSSIBLE AND MAGIC CAN HAPPEN.

What I'm going to write in this post, is going to challenge many people in the way that it will create resistance in some, disbelief in others and wonder in others. Simply because what I'm going to write here transcends many beliefs and concepts, that we used to believe so far and, in the other hand, many know about this already. 

It took me some time to see how I was going to formulate the experience I had before conceiving my third child. But let's start from the beginning:

After my second child was born, my husband commented with my mother "now our family is complete"... but it wasn't for me, specially because I felt this wish in every cell of my body, that I wanted one more. But he didn't and, because of that, we went through our biggest challenge as a couple as soon as my son turned 6 months. From there on I was ready ... and I couldn't settle the idea of giving up. We fought about this, I got angry at him, he got angry at me because I was expecting something of him, that he didn't want ... and most importantly, I got even more angry, because I was not able to understand his reasons. His reasons were no real reasons for me and he was just following a "tradition" of his family, that they only had at most 2 children and he gave me other reasons, that were so unreal to me. At a point I thought that maybe I was being childish and that I had to understand his side too. Maybe I was being unfair and selfish ... was it fair to force him a child he doesn't want? And what this child came into the world with a disability or something similar? How was I able to face him (and myself) knowing that it was my fault?

So I gave up for a while. We stopped fighting about it and we decided that it was time to start giving away all the baby clothes and stuff. And so I did! I packed all the baby clothes, that I knew we wouldn't be needing ... but it was painful for me. With every packaging I cried and my heart was aching, even though my head was trying to accept it. When I stopped crying there was a knowing inside of me that was saying to not give the bigger things away like the crib and other stuff .... like the knowing that I was going to need them and to be honest the knowing and strong feeling that I was going to have another child didn't leave me. 

My son was almost 3 years old when my restlessness started to be stronger. It was like my soul was telling me that the time of welcoming my third child was getting nearer, but there was still a resistance from my husband. I started getting cramps before my period (never had them since I had my first baby), my period became irregular and I started having some bleedings between periods. My body was showing some physical symptoms, because of this emotional struggle. I saw no way out and I felt stuck ... and at the same time I knew that we were supposed to welcome another child in the family, but I didn't know how. One day I asked the universe to give me a sign and show me what I could do to open a window for it to happen. And about two days later I just knew .... I felt stuck, because I forgot about some principles that I knew about a long time ago ... I didn't trust the universe and I was blocking everything with my negative thoughts and emotions (again). But this time, the universe was trying to talk to me louder ... and I wasn't listening. 

I knew that everything that doesn't happen, isn't because of outer circumstances and of others... I am the one creating my reality ... and my inner doubts of being unable to handle two "not sleeping babies" created this outer resistance. In fact, it was happening again ... my unconscious fears and doubts were the things that made me feel stuck. And to my surprise ... one day later I came across a video from Greg Braden, that was telling me all of this again. And after watching the video, I sat in meditation and released all the fears and doubts and welcomed the wish to get pregnant. (Here the the video-link ... it's a 4-hour-video, but it's the better spent hours you'll have in a very long time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnxN_nHrO7w)

I know what everyone is thinking .... and what about my husband in this story: well ... I think that everything that is to happen, happens even if we are not able to see it yet. My husband is a bit stubborn sometimes (so am I) and he wasn't able to get out of his comfort zone and he had some fears and doubts himself. When I meditated, I asked for everything that happens, may be for the highest good of all. And we both had lessons to be learned. One day he forgot about his doubts and fears ... and "just like that" I got pregnant. When I told him about the pregnancy he said "I'm going to be a dad again!" and I saw him cry of happiness for the first time in a very long time (he never did it with the other two announcements). 

When you're really ready to welcome your child (like really ready at a very deep level), nothing can stop it to happen. And it's pointless to tell yourself that it's because of "my stubborn utero", "what the doctor told me", "my life circumstances", "my husband" ..... at the end you are the one who have the power to make it happen. 

(This story isn't finished ... there is still something else to it, but it belongs to another post)

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