How our fears and unconscious beliefs affect conception

 I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY FIRST BABY RIGHT AWAY. THEN WHY DID IT TAKE OVER A YEAR TO CONCEIVE MY SECOND CHILD? IT WAS ONLY WHEN I LOOKED AT MY FEELINGS AND UNCONSCIOUS BELIEFS AND FEARS, THAT I ALLOWED THE CONCEPTION OF MY SECOND CHILD.

It was only eight years after my daughter was born, that we were ready to conceive our second child. We had moved to a new country when my daughter was two years old and we wanted to make sure that we were more stable financially and at my job. I had always wished to have all my children at least 3 years apart, but our life circumstances didn't allow us to give a sibling to our first born. When we were ready, nature was not at the same pace as us and it was then, that I lived one of the hardest emotional challenges of my life .... when I experienced my first miscarriage. 

I already wrote about how my second child came into our lives ... 

"The years passed and our life situation delayed our second child again and again. When the time finally arrived, I experienced a miscarriage and this experience turned my whole life upside down. I felt hurt like I never had before, I was not capable of understanding why it had happened to me as it seemed like a punishment and no one around me understood how I felt. Words like "You'll get pregnant soon again", "it sometimes happens and it's something that thousands of women experience every day". I knew that everyone was just trying to help me, but nothing did. I had just a part of me. Although this event was one of the most difficult of my life, years later I was able to see and recognize the lessons and the positive side of it ... or at least what the universe was trying to teach me.

Again I knew right away that I was pregnant. Besides, I felt not only one but two souls with me, which surprised me a little. The first ultrasound confirmed this intuitive feeling and every day I had the miracle of experiencing these two souls so intensively like nothing before. They were always present in a certain way, as I had never experienced before and after that. The love and the presence I was feeling were so immense that I floated on clouds of happiness and joy for a whole month. In the 8th week of pregnancy I had a very uncertain and restless feeling, although there was no sign that something was approaching. One day I had a dream that wasn't like an ordinary dream ... I was lying on my bed, about 5 months pregnant, the babies were moving and I heard the voice of a boy who told me: "It will be all right, I'll come later and I love you". After this sentence I woke up terrified and felt pain in my abdomen. At the hospital I received the most painful news of my life ... I had lost both embryos. I had already heard that the loss of a pregnancy could be painful and difficult, but to experience it myself was so thoughtless and this event turned everything upside down (difficult moments, but also life experiences and lessons were behind it).

My pain and the feeling that something was wrong with my body delayed the experience of having my second child in my arms for almost 2 more years. Only when I worked a lot on my emotions, grief and beliefs was it possible for us to conceive our second child ... the boy who told me that he would come later."

It was really a fact, that my anxiety and the negative beliefs I had related to the miscarriage and the idea that my body didn't work as it was supposed to, played a huge role in getting pregnant back then. A year had passed since the miscarriage and at a point I said to myself: "Now it's enough! You know how this works, so get over yourself and just relax.... you know that you're supposed to have more children and that your little boy also wants to join you." And here started my inner work! I meditated more to shut off my ego and my thinking and to turn on my intuition ... I knew that the answers were there. At the same time, I had to feel all the emotions I had and to be at peace with them (easier said than done). I got peace with the idea that there was something wrong with my body and saw the opposite: the fact that I miscarried meant that my body was actually working perfectly and that it was a way to stop a non-viable embryo, that probably would have any kind of deficiency and that was not meant to live anyway (there's so much more about this topic and it doesn't mean that pregnancies that allow a body with any kind of deficiency isn't working well ... there's much more to it). 

After mourning the loss of my twins and accepting the fact that a miscarriage happened, but that there was a new chance ready to be accepted, I was able to let go of the negative feelings and I felt confident that I would get pregnant soon. I started singing a lullaby to my baby and talking to him (things that I knew I had to do, but during my period of the dark night of the soul, I was able to get readings for everyone else, but my pain didn't allow me to see the right way I had to follow and I got no messages for myself at all). 

But there was something else! 

I was unconsciously a bit afraid of the sleepless nights and of breastfeeding ...! Yes, breastfeeding ... even if this sounds a bit strange! I had such a bad experience with my daughter, that just the thought of trying to breastfeed, just gave me nightmares (long story). And I was afraid of it. And I knew that I had to come to terms with that fear, because I knew that it was blocking my ability to welcome a brand new newborn into my arms ... and my nipples! This fear was contradicting the wish I had to have a newborn and to breastfeed.... After realizing that I still had some fears related to having a newborn, it didn't take me long to come to terms with those fears. I came to a point, where I accepted the fact that feeding my baby with formula was ok and that I wouldn't make a big deal around it and that the wish of me having another baby compensated the unslept nights. And guess what ... I was able to welcome my second baby into my arms just 9 months after releasing these fears ... or at least, letting them go by accepting them and being able to live with them and make the best out of them. And the most interesting fact is that I was able to breastfeed my baby (and the third one) for 7 months and it was such a beautiful experience this time! 

EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEARS AND ACCEPT THEM AS BEING THERE AND DON'T LET THEM RULE YOUR LIFE AND YOUR DREAMS. AT THE OTHER END OF YOUR INNER FEARS, THERE IS A WORLD OF POSSIBILITIES........ AND ALSO A PREGNANCY!

Question to allow you to think: I know at least 20 cases of couples, who got pregnant as soon as they let go of the idea of getting pregnant. They spent millions of dollars on fertility treatments just to get pregnant after they accepted the idea that they were not going to have children of their own. I know personally one couple that spent 15 years on fertility treatments and got pregnant 2 months after the last disappointment. And one  couple that got pregnant after 9 years of fertility treatments and after the doctor telling them that it was physically impossible for them to have children ....... and it took them 3 months to conceive their first child. These stories, among others, should be a proof that there must be something more to the mere fact that egg and sperm get together in the conceiving process ... our society still isn't taking into account the human being as an energetic and spiritual being. But for those who do, it's just .... pure art of creation! (also in every other aspect of life)

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